Gruntpocalypse
by I have a jar of dirt
Summary: Oneshot, Firefight. A grunt reflects over his incessant torture, an annoying Elite overseer, and confetti. Rated T for violence.


_Firefight._

The announcer's voice blared through the speakers again as me and my Unggoy comrades piled up in front of the door. The nervous chatter of my fellow Grunts filled the air as we, once again, went out to face the slaughter. An Elite major was growling at the masses, shoving around people into position. Forerunners damn him. A Minor besides me was shaking uncontrollably out of fear, clenching tightly his plasma pistol; probably his first time. I checked my Needler one last time.

_Beep,_

_Beep,_

_BEEP!_

"Out you go, fools!" The Elite Major shouted._  
_

Sigh. Here we go again.

The door opened, revealing the familiar sight of a Covenant ship hangar. Always the same one, too. My comrades and I hustled and bustled out of the door, leaving the protection of our one-way energy shield, preventing us from ever coming back. Oh, how I wished I could stay behind it.

Several shots rang out, and I saw some of our brethren fall by the opposite door. I quickly glanced up towards the platform. There stood a Demon, clad in grey armor with a narrow visor on his helmet, and a mechanical arm I've seen on some of the other Demons I've faced. That horrific weapon of his was in his hands, primitive, but enough to kill an Unggoy with a single, well aimed shot. The Grunt Bane, I decided to call it.

He was standing, like so many others before him, on that damned platform overlooking the entire middle field. Why change something good? It had a good view of the entire place and there was only one way up. There was a distinct feeling of dejà vu.

We advanced onto his position slowly, but he downed several more of us before he had to reload. This one was good; he had not wasted a single shot.

A specialist began mauling his position with his Fuel Rod Gun. Oh, how I wished I had that weapon. It was one of the few that had proven effective against the Demons. Except anyone carrying them was a big target.

True enough, the specialist's head exploded in a spray of bright blue blood and confetti. I had learned that this "confetti" thing was thrown by humans when they celebrated something. I saw this as a sadistic joke from the one that had come up with such a thing. There's nothing to celebrate with one's death. Maybe the Demon's: Some of them had exploded in a similar shower of coloured paper, but it was rare to be seen.

Anyway, that little debacle had allowed me to come closer towards his position. I did not fire yet; it was stupid to attract unescessary attention. I finally made it under the Demon's position, where I would be protected from his bullets for the time being. The Minor that stood beside me at the entrance before made it too. Guess he was lucky. The others... Not so much. Several other Minors got their skulls blown off before they made it. Oh well.

Luckily, the Demon had not noticed us for now. He was occupied with killing the other ones wading across the killzone. I waved for my comrade to follow me. He walked behind me nervously, always taking quick glances towards the Demon's emplacement. He was occupied with more Fuel Rod shots flying towards him, but he easily countered them with that annoying white forcefield some Demons could summon. The explosives impacted him, doing no damage at all. After the green shower had stopped, he stood up again and fired away. I could feel the smell of blood everywhere.

I pressed on with my companion. We walked up the stairs slowly.

"Charge pistol," I told the rookie. His weapon was glowing green now. I readied my Needler.

3...

2...

1...

"GO!"

We both rushed up and attacked him. The Demon turned to face us; the rookie besides me fired away and dropped his shields while I went closer but the Human managed to kill my companion. I saw his face turn into coloured confetti with the recognizable cheering echoing through the hangar. Enraged, I emptied my Needler at the Demon. While he desperately tried to dodge, the lack of shields made him explode in a pink mist, sending his body careening through the air and land down again.

I couldn't believe my eyes.

I managed to kill a Demon.

Everyone else was dead but I killed him.

I was happy now.

"Yay! I kill Demon!"

Without warning, a sharp pain went through my skull before the world blackened before my eyes.

...

"Wake up, you lazy Unggoy!"

Groggily, I opened my eyes. Everything was a blur and my head was spinning. I realised the Demon had come back and shot me somehow. It was probably him towering over me right now, telling me to stand up so that he could torment me again...

Wait, Demons never spoke to me...

"Wake up! New round soon!"

Oh right, the Elite Major.

* * *

On the other side of the screen sat a very fat and very pissed guy in his apartement's sofa, surrounded by empty pizza trays and coca-cola cans. He was glaring at the screen madly; a bit of foam could be seen running down his mouth.

"WTF! THAT HAXING AI! I COULD HAVE GOT A PERFECTION! FUUU-"

...

TEH EDN


End file.
